Thursday, March 25, 2010

Shorter Health Care Debate

Found here:

Democrats: "We need health care reform"

Republicans: "Liberal fascists! Give us a majority and we'll do it better"

Democrats: "Done, you have majority of both houses"

12 years later, health care is irrefutably worse in every respect for every single person in the United States

Democrats: "We need health care reform"

Republicans: "Liberal fascists! Americans are tired of partisan politics!"

Democrats: "OK, let's compromise"

Republicans: "OK, get rid of half your ideas"

Democrats: "Done"

Republicans: "Too liberal, get rid of half your ideas"

Democrats: "Done"

Republicans: "Too liberal, get rid of half your ideas"

Democrats: "Done"

Republicans: "Too liberal, get rid of half your ideas"

Democrats: "Done"

Republicans: "Too liberal, get rid of half your ideas"

Democrats: "Done. Time to end debate"

Republicans: "Too liberal, we need more debate, we will filibuster to prevent you from voting"

Democrats: "OK, we'll vote--sorry guys, debate is ended. It's time to vote on the bill"

Republicans: "Too liberal, we vote no"

Democrats: "OK, it passed anyway--sorry guys."

One month later

Republicans: "Wait--wait, OK, we have less of a minority now so we can filibuster forever."

Democrats: "Sorry, the bill already passed, we need it to pass the House now"

Republicans: "But we have enough to filibuster"

Democrats: "Sorry, the bill already passed, we need it to pass the House now"

Republicans: "Liberal fascists! You haven't listened to our ideas! You've shut us out of this whole process!"

Democrats: "Sorry, show us your proposal"

Republicans: "Smaller government"

Democrats: "That's not very specific"

Republicans: "OK, here's our detailed proposal--It's our common-sense ideas we spent 12 years not enacting"

Democrats: "OK, we'll add a bunch more of your ideas"

Republicans: "Liberal fascists! You included all these back-room deals"

Democrats: "OK, we'll get rid of the back-room deals"

Republicans: "Liberal fascists! You're using obscure procedural tricks to eliminate the back-room deals!"

Democrats: "No, we're using reconciliation, which both parties have used dozens of times for much larger bills"

Republicans: "Liberal fascists! You're pressuring Congressmen to vote for your bill! Scandal!"

Democrats: "It's called 'whipping', it's been done since 1789"

Republicans: "Liberal fascists! Can't you see the American people don't want this?"

Democrats: "This bill is mildly unpopular (40-50%), doing nothing (your proposal) is extraordinarily unpopular (4-6%)"

Republicans: "We need to start over! We need to start over!"

Democrats: "We should really consider voting--"

Republicans: "Liberal fascists! Start over! Clean slate! Common-sense! America!"

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Heavily Annotated "Letter to Conservatives"

Check out this post for a heavily annotated "Letter to Conservatives" that pretty much documents all the folks that the Republican Party needs to push out of leadership and spokesperson positions if they want to become the real Republican Party again.